Final Reflection

P.s.: It is finally time for the final blog post! (Yay!)

In my first blog post, I mentioned that effective communication takes the effort of both parties - the speaker and the receiver. The 12-week course has made me believe even more strongly in my point. In order for the message to be brought across from the speaker to the receiver without misinterpretation, the speaker would have to use the right words in the right tone, while the receiver would have to play an active listening role. However, active listening is an essential component which many of us tend to overlook, including myself. I have been putting in more effort in this aspect of communication but I am still guilty at times of not listening actively. (One such example is when I think of food while Ms Kim talks!)

Oral presentation was part of the course that left the greatest impression on me. I mentioned previously that public speaking is one of human's greatest fears and it is definitely mine as well. We were taught that preparation before the presentation is essential and in fact, very important. As i watched the playback of my presentation, I realised that my body language and the way I spoke was a little unnatural. On top of being nervous, this could also be attributed to the fact that I was not prepared enough. Insufficient preparation also led to a lower level of confidence as I spoke. This is a precious lesson learnt. In future, if I have to present my ideas publicly again, I will definitely familiarize myself with my slides and speech, as well as the topic to be presented.

In addition, I noticed that several classmates nodded their heads as I presented. These non-verbal cues allowed me to know that they understood what I was trying to bring across. In fact, I have to thank them as these NVCs also helped to assure me as I spoke and helped to soothe my nerves. (Thank you so much!)

Another component of the course which I find very useful is the 'Job Search' component. During those sessions, we were taught the proper way of constructing a convincing job application letter and a resume, as well as interview skills. These are skills that are not taught in any other courses, but are essential skills that will benefit us when we apply for internships or jobs. Before attending this course, I did not realise the importance of a good resume and I had been using my friends' resumes as templates. All those resumes that I had did not cater to specific jobs nor did they look professional and convincing. Now, I am more confident of being offered an interview.

In actual fact, I have never been to an official job interview. The mock interview session that we had definitely gave me a rough idea of what to expect at an interview. Now, I understand that not only do we have to learn to 'sell ourselves', we also have to be confident, maintain eye contact with the interviewers and be appropriately groomed. With these interview tips and with sufficient preparation, I am now more certain of how to prepare for an interview in future.

To conclude my final blog post (and final assignment for the course!), I have to say that I did not regret taking up this course as the skills that I have learnt will be beneficial for life. It was also great to make friends with my coursemates and I really did enjoy the company of the class (All those squeezing-into-the-lift times). However, I have to admit that I did curse the course once in a while when there was too much work piling up. The weekly blog posts often made me dread the arrival of the weekends!



Dear all: Please do keep in contact, and TIMBRE AFTER EXAMS!

A collage to end off my post. My apologies to those not captured in my camera. CG, please upload the photos! (:

My Biodata

I am currently a 3rd year undergraduate in the National University of Singapore (NUS), pursuing a Bachelor degree in Chemistry. I participate actively in my faculty activities. In 2006, I displayed my leadership skills by joining the Science Sports Committee as Vice-Director (Programme) and led a team of 12 in the organization of a 3D2N Science Sports Camp, “SWEAT”, which had 100 participants. Besides my contribution in the university, I am also the secretary of Zheng Ensemble and the Vice-President for the concert committee. I have been playing the Guzheng for ten years under the guidance of renowned local Guzheng instructor, Mr Tan Chin Huat and am currently pursuing my diploma.

Reflecting on Research Project Experience

As a Chemistry student, I hardly have any opportunity to work with others in a group as the syllabus trains us to be independent learners. This module (ES2007S) has provided me with a very good chance to experience and learn to work with others as a team.

Chen Xin, Dai Jing, Edwin and I started off as strangers and we were grouped together by chance. There was a short awkward period at the beginning when we were still trying to get to know each other. However, it was soon overcome by our frankness and open-mindedness with each other. These few weeks of working together not only brought us closer as a group, but also as friends.

At our first meeting, we appointed Edwin as our group leader. It was essential that someone takes charge of the group so that decision making is made simpler. Edwin took charge of co-ordinating the group as a whole and split the job accordingly. Without the leader, the group might lose its direction and work would have been completed less efficiently and effectively.

Time was clearly an issue for this project. The 4 of us, all from different majors and commitments, often faced difficulties in finding a common time slot for meetings. Hence, every face-to-face meeting that we had was precious and efficiency was extremely important. For the meetings to be efficient, we had to be prepared beforehand and listen actively to the contributions of other group members. It was also important that we remain open-minded to new ideas at all time.

Most of the time, we split the job as there were too many clashes in our timetables. Hence, we tried our best to maintain effective communication through MSN, SMSes and Emails. It was not possible to observe non-verbal cues through these communication channels, hence we tried to be clear and concise in order to avoid miscommunication and loss of information that could be crucial to the project.

Now that the report is almost completed, we will have to fret over the oral presentation. Public speaking is one of human's greatest fear. It is tough to present ideas effectively across to the audience, as well as to ensure that the audience do not get bored. Honestly, these are also my greatest fear. I will have to be clear with my articulation of words and speak at an appropriate speed and volume. At the same time, I will have to constantly look out for non-verbal cues from the audience that might give me a hint that they are bored. My other team mates might have the same fears as me in terms of oral presentation. Hence, we can help each other by practicing our parts together and commenting on our flaws.

Overall, working with my group mates had been very enjoyable. The little talks before commencing our meetings and on MSN were fun and had definitely brought us closer. This is a priceless experience, both academically and non-academically. ((:

Evaluating Intercultural Behavior

A few days back, my boyfriend (BF) confessed that he had been insensitive to people of another culture before. This was what happened:

BF approached a Malay satay stall and requested: "10 mutton, 10 chicken and 10 pork please".

The Muslim hawker replied with a frown, pointing to the Halal sign: "Excuse me Sir, we are Halal and do not serve pork!"

BF: “Oops, sorry!”

When the hawker served the food (10 mutton and 10 chicken satays) to BF and his friends, she shoved the plate onto the table in an annoyed manner.

‘Halal’ literally means permissible or lawful. It is widely known, especially in Singapore, that Muslims only consume Halal meat. For meat to be Halal, the animal has to be slaughtered in a Zibah ritual. In addition, Muslims are prohibited from consuming pork, alcohol, blood, meat dedicated to false gods, etc. These are stated in the Holy Qur'an as follows:

"Forbidden to you for (food) are: dead meat, blood and the flesh of the swine and that which hath been invoked the name other than Allah."

Holy Qur'an 5:4

BF explained that he was used to ordering pork satay as there are many satay stalls opened by non-Muslims nowadays and they do not have constraints in terms of the type of meat sold. However, he could have been more aware and sensitive towards the possible cultural constraints that different cultures are faced with. This is especially important in a multicultural country like Singapore. He ought to have performed self-analysis and increase awareness of his tendencies in order to avoid intercultural conflicts.

On the other hand, though it was understandable why the hawker was annoyed, she could have explained the issue to BF in a polite manner instead of showing her displeasure with a frown and through her other non-verbal cues.

Through this incident, it is clear that in this global village that we live in today, intercultural issues are unavoidable. We have to face these differences in our everyday lives, from just buying food from a hawker stall to building relationships on a corporate level. Hence, it is important that we grasp the skills of being effective comunicators in an intercultural context.

Hereby, I shall end my post with this short clip illustrating the insensitivity of some towards cultural differences:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=sBDA_4DKrbM

Potential Research Project Topic

Observation:

There are more than 11,000 persons released from prisons and Drug Rehabilitation Centres in Singapore each year. A large percentage of them are sincere about turning over a new leaf, getting a decent job and leading a normal life. Yet, they are often faced with a social stigma imposed on them due to their criminal records.

This problem not only causes distress to the ex-offenders, but also to their family members. Besides the emotional and economical burden, they also have to deal with the social stigma of being related to an ex-convict.

It is true that there are rehabilitative and aftercare programmes to assist smoother re-integration of an ex-convict back into the society, but these will not be effective if there is no awareness and acceptance from the general public.

After 4 years of launching the 'Yellow Ribbon Project', the same problems faced by these ex-offenders still exist. The level of acceptance may have increased but the bulk of the population still seem to look at these ex-offenders differently.

General Research Question:

Is there still social stigma by the general public towards ex-offenders after 4 years since the launch of the 'Yellow Ribbon Project'? If yes, what are the reasons?

Hypothesis:
There is still an appreciable level of social stigma by the general public towards ex-offenders in Singapore.

Attitudinal Survey:
An attitudinal survey will form an important part of this study. A survey will have to be formulated to collect information about the level of acceptance by the general public towards the ex-offenders. Such information can only be more accurate when collected directly from the general public, hence a survey is required.

Objective of the Study:

The objective of this study is to analyse the existence of and reasons behind social stigma (should they exist) of ex-offenders by the general public.

Objective of the Report:

One objective of this report is to enable the Community Action for the Rehabilitation of Ex-Offenders (CARE) Network to review the effectiveness of their project and to bring forward information about the existence of and reasons behind the social stigma on ex-offenders by the general public to the Community Action for the Rehabilitation of Ex-Offenders (CARE) Network. This is so as to allow the CARE Network to improve on their existing efforts under the Yellow Ribbon Project, as well as to formulate new strategies to increase the acceptance of ex-offenders by the general public. This will aid to improve the lives of both the ex-offenders and their family members.

Resolving Interpersonal Conflict

Being the only daughter and the youngest out of two children in the family, I am naturally very protected by my parents, in particular, my dad. Unlike my brother, I can hardly stay out late (past 12 midnight). However, once in a while, I will try to push the limit so that I can spend more time with my friends. Moreover, which young adult doesn’t stay out late?

There was once when my friends and I had a Christmas party at one of my friend’s place just 15 minutes’ drive away from my place. It was a gathering for our group of close friends whom I have known since my Secondary school days. Moreover, it was an especially joyous occasion since my best friend just came back from Australia for vacation. We hung out till around 4 am and I took a cab home with 2 of my friends who stayed near me.

However, I was shocked to find the door to my house locked from the inside. Luckily, my brother came to my rescue. My dad was waiting angrily for me at 4 am! He started giving me a dressing-down the moment I stepped in. Strong-headed like I always have been, I just ignored him and went ahead to wash up and sleep. I did not register anything that he said, let alone respond to him.

The next morning, I still treated him as though he was invisible. My mom, who usually acts as the mediator in the family, told me that my dad was only being protective of me. He dotes on me the most and was worried for me. In addition, he was also upset that I have not been spending much time with the family. She suggested that I apologize to my dad for her sake as she is, too, badly affected (emotionally) by the conflict. Being egoistic and stubborn, I disregarded what she said about my dad. However, I did apologize to my dad as I did not want to see my mom upset. He said nothing and everything kind of got back to normal the next day. I guess we both just decided to forget about the incident.

Looking back at this conflict that we had, I feel a little guilty for upsetting my parents. I came to realize that what my mom said about my dad was very true. However, if I were to turn back time, I would have still hung out late with my friends as it was really a rare chance for everyone to be present. Moreover, the activities that I engaged in had no form of indecency involved. In fact, my parents knew of my friends a long time ago.

However, I could have handled the issue more appropriately and sensitively so that a conflict could have been avoided. I had only informed my mom about me staying out late, but not my dad. My dad is very protective of me and always sees me as his baby girl. I could have assured him of my safety by telling him in detail who, where and what the gathering was about. This could have been especially helpful as he may have had a hard week at work and me being his precious daughter, was not there to show him some love and concern. By letting him know that I respect him and see him as being important to me, he may be more understanding and agreeable of me staying out late. At the same time, I could have negotiated an appropriate time to be home so that my dad can keep track of my whereabouts.

If the conflict had really been unavoidable, I should also not have approached it in the way that I did. I was too hot-headed and irrational at that moment. Emotions and ego took the better of me and I just did not want to lose out. This is a part of my personality which I 'inherited' from my dad, which is not exactly a good thing. I should have cooled down and be more rational and sensitive. It was also essential that I pay attention to what he said like what an active listener will do.

The conflict is actually a blessing in disguise as I have learnt to appreciate and treasure our family harmony more now (which I am sure my dad feels the same).

If you were in my shoes, and were given a chance to turn back time, would you still have made the same decision as I did? If yes, how would you have approached the situation so that harmony can be maintained?

My lovely family (:

Effective Communication - Part of Everyday Life

Imagine an entire day without any form of communication with anyone. Alright fine, I cannot even bring myself to imagine that situation occurring for half a day!

Communication is part and parcel of everyone's daily life. An eye contact, a nod of acknowledgement, a smile, a frown, a simple greeting and the list goes on. These are all forms of communication, both verbal and non-verbal. Different communication channels have also become so integrated into our lives that, at many times, i feel uncomfortable and insecure without them. SMS (short message service), electronic mail, online messaging, telephone and face-to-face interaction are some of the communication channels that I cannot live without. Take my mobile phone away from me for a day and I will feel so cut-off from the world. Remove the Internet connection in my house and I will feel lost the entire time I am home.

In fact, we were enrolled into the 'communication course' since the day we were born. We started off with our first cry, then picking up the ability to listen and understand simple words and gestures and followed by learning to speak through imitating and repeating. Subsequently, we were being taught the skills of reading and writing. Yet, the issue is not about how much we learn to communicate, but about whether we learn to communicate effectively or not.

If equipped with effective communication skills, strong family ties may be forged. Common issues such as generation gap may be bridged by successfully overcoming barriers like language differences between the grandmother and the granddaughter (use of dialect and English respectively). At the same time, our communication networks of friends, schoolmates and teachers may aid us in our growth as an individual, our schoolwork, as well as in our future endeavors. In one year's time as I graduate and enter the workforce, written skills such as resume writing can serve to leave a positive first impression, hence increasing the chances of attaining the job.

Quoting from Anthony Robbins, "To effectively communicate, we must realize that we are all different in the way we perceive the world and use this understanding as a guide to our communication with others". Notice the mention of two parties in the quote. Effective communication takes the effort of both parties. In order for the message to be brought across from the speaker to the receiver without misinterpretation, the speaker would have to use the right words in the right tone, while the receiver would have to play an active listening role. Hence, in effective communication, it is not just about talking and not listening. Active listening is an essential component which many of us overlook, including me.

Without active listening, miscommunications may arise between family or friends, causing strains in relationships; instructions passed down by the laboratory teaching assistant may be missed out or misinterpreted, resulting in laboratory accidents; jobs allocated by the boss could be done in an undesired manner, leading to a possible demotion, etc. In short, active listening affects every phase and aspect of our lives. This hence explains the importance of effective communication as well.

That's all for my post #1! I hope I have managed to communicate effectively in one way or another. Do feel free to comment or clarify if I have failed to convey the message clearly. (:

Laters!

*jiahwa